Tag: success

Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to make 2017 your best year yet -part III moving beyond limitations

    Hello again. I hope you’ve had enough time to work on your SMART goal action plan (as described in part I) and to observe your potential excuses and limiting beliefs (mentioned in part II) that stop you from 100% following that plan and achieving your goal. Now, as promised, I’ll outline how to overcome those challenges to bring about the necessary changes to make this YOUR best year yet! Of course, not everybody has limiting beliefs that prevents them from reaching their goals. If you don’t and the action plan is working out for you, great! Keep going! The type of goal may also play a role, for example, a small goal might not bring up any resistance, while a big life-changing goal is more likely to be (self-)sabotaged, on an unconscious level of course. Nobody would purposefully get in their own way. Our unconscious mind is usually trying to keep us safe and if the new goal requires us to stand out, to make changes and take risks, a bit of resistance may come up, especially if we had some bad experiences in the past, and who hasn’t?

    life purpose

    Let’s now have a look at how to move beyond these limitations. Both EFT and Hypnosis are effective ways to overcome these (along with many other modalities that also work, these are just the ones I use and find extremely effective).

    Now, take out your answers from the questions in part II  below. These reveal your hidden barriers which can be tackled with EFT tapping. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and is a unique modality to release negative emotions, such as fear or anxiety which often come up when thinking of reaching a powerful goal. So, read out your goal aloud and then tune into your body to see how it makes you feel. If any fear or anxiety comes up (or anything else that is not pure enthusiasm) then we’ve got something to work on. Rate the intensity of that feeling on a scale from 1-10 and see where it sits in your body, whether it has a form, shape or colour. For some people it could be something like a ‘tennis-ball sized black knot of anxiety in my stomach’. The more precise the description, the better EFT works, so please take a moment to really tune into that feeling and write down the number and details.

    tapping points

    Now, let’s get started. You can refer to the picture with the tapping points, if you don’t know them already or read the EFT page  first for more information about EFT. We usually start with the so-called set-up statement which aims to tune you in as well as to acknowledge the feelings. Only if you can accept how you currently feel, you are able to shift this emotion.

    Set-up: Tap on the outside of your hand and say: ‘Even though I have this …[add your description] I accept how I feel and I’m ok.’ Repeat this a couple of times and make sure you focus on FEELING that emotion in your body while tapping.
    Tapping points: Start tapping slightly on the top of your head and repeat the so-called reminder phrase, e.g. ‘this tennis-ball sized black knot of anxiety in my stomach’. Then move on to the eyebrow point and repeat the statement. Again focus on the feelings and watch out for any changes. Tap through all the points while repeating the phrase or adapt it if the feeling changes. Also keep looking at your written goal to make sure you target the feelings related to this goal and not any other feelings that are currently in your energy system.

    After one or two rounds of tapping through all the points, measure the intensity on the scale again and see whether the colour, size, shape or location have changed. If so, you could do a second set-up statement, for example: ‘Even though I STILL have SOME of this ….[add your description]…I accept how I feel and I’m open to letting it go.’ Then tap through the points as described above. Continue until the number is very low or zero. Then look at the next question in part II and tackle those feelings in exactly the same way.

    If any memories happen to come up, keep those in your mind while tapping; imagine telling a friend what happened in that memory and tap until you can ‘tell’ the story without any negative emotions occuring. This helps clearing negative experiences from the past which may prevent us from reaching our goals. The whole process can take a while, so make sure you set enough time aside. It is important to be thorough and tap out all of this potential resistance. Remember if you overcome the resistance you will be unstoppable! It’s worth it, believe me! If you feel unsure, how to proceed or feel there’s too much coming up or you feel a bit overwhelmed with emotions, keep tapping until you calm down, then consider working with a qualified EFT practitioner who can help you shift quickly and safely.

    This is just a very simple introduction to EFT, there’s much more to it. Feel free to get in touch if you need any further information or assistance. I’m a qualified advanced EFT practitioner and trainer.

    In my next blog post, I’ll tell you a bit more about how to use hypnosis and visualisations to achieve your goals, yet first move beyond your limitations, fears and doubts.

    If this has been helpful, please leave a comment or get in touch if you’re interested in a session. I work in Brighton & Hove, East Sussex but also via Skype.

    Best of luck with making this your best year yet! Let me know how you get on.

    powerful mind

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to make 2017 your best year yet – part II What’s holding you back?

    About 3 weeks ago I wrote about how to set goals and take action to achieve them using the SMART approach. If you haven’t read that article yet, catch up here. Today, the focus is on how to find and overcome limiting beliefs that lead to self-sabotage or procrastination. Have you taken action in the last few weeks? What have you done to work on your goals? Or have you simply not had time or forgot about it? Keeping busy and making other things and people more important can be a form of procrastination. If we have a clear goal, a step-by-step action plan and enough motivation to go for what we want, it should be easy to achieve our goals. Just get started, make daily improvements or contributions and over time, your goals will be realised. Simple, isn’t it? Then why do so many people never reach their goals?

    Born to do more

    There are surely a variety of reasons (or excuses) but in my experience there is often an emotional element that holds people back, more specifically an emotion caused by certain thoughts or beliefs. For example, ask yourself: Do I really believe I can achieve this goal? If the answer is anything else than an immediate enthusiastic yes, there might be a bit of doubt that’s holding you back. Doubt leads to fear of failure and when fear takes over people tend to procrastinate or self-sabotage so that it eventually feels safer to not even try. Or perhaps you do believe in your goal but are worried about what other people may say if you reached that goal? Could there be jealousy, disapproval or even pressure from others? Or maybe your goal involves becoming successful and standing out which can cause anxiety and doesn’t feel safe, so again fear interferes (on a subconscious level) and before you know it, you’ve only half-heartedly tried before coming to the conclusion that it won’t or didn’t work.

    Manifest wisely

    Two great ways to overcome these limiting thoughts and feelings are tackling them with EFT tapping and/or Hypnotherapy. In fact, both work wonderfully together. With EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) we can release doubts, anxiety and fear. These act as blocks in the human energy system but can be literally tapped away by applying EFT. Once these energy blocks are gone you will be clear and motivated and a massive step further on the way to reaching your goal. If you then follow up with Hypnotherapy, which is like a guided visualisation, where you vividly imagine having achieved your goal and how wonderful that will feel, you set your whole self (conscious and subconscious) up for success. You sort of become unstoppable. Right, so let’s see what’s holding you back. Take a piece of paper and a pen and answer the following questions. If possible rate each feeling that comes up on a scale from 1-10 (one being low and 10 being very high) and give any thoughts or beliefs a percentage between 1-100% in terms of how true it feels.

    1. Write down your goal. Read it out loud and then pause and see how your body reacts. Do you feel enthusiasm or anxiety? Does it cause tension? Where is it in your body? Give it a number.

    2. Do you believe you can achieve this goal? Give it a percentage! For example, I’m 70% sure I can reach this goal. If it’s anything less than 100% start exploring what’s holding you back. In the above example: what do the 30% stand for? Tune in and write it down. Is it a belief or a feeling? Name it and then rate it.

    3. How would other people (friends & family) react if you  achieved this goal? Be specific and write down what you think the most important people in your life would say, and more importantly how that makes you FEEL!

    In my next post, I’ll write about how to use EFT tapping to tackle those limiting thoughts and feelings. Make sure you have your list of thoughts and emotions and their numbers ready. Or if you want to start right away, feel free to contact me and book an appointment. I offer 1-2-1 EFT & Hypnotherapy sessions in Brighton & Hove, East Sussex or via Skype worldwide.

    Remember to enjoy every moment, smile more and be grateful for what you have already achieved.

    Love and light

    Sandy

    Please leave a comment and let me know if this post has been helpful. Thank you.

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to make 2017 your best year yet! 5 steps

    It is January, time to set new goals and make changes. Here are a few tips and ideas how to go about this and how to make it happen!
    1. A few useful questions: What would you like to achieve this year? What would need to happen to make 2017 your best year so far? Who/where would you like to be in 12 months’ time?
    2. Become clear: Just for a moment travel into the future, imagine it’s December 2017 and you’ve lived your best year so far. What does that look like? And more importantly, what does that feel like? What achievements would make you really happy and proud in December 2017? Become clear on the goals that would have the greatest impact. Just choose between one and three. Close your eyes and do this right now! Take a few minutes to daydream….. Seriously, stop reading! Do this right now!

    3. Great! Now write down minimum one and maximum three of the most significant goals. If you find it hard to choose, rate each on a scale from 1-10 in terms of impact on your life or happiness and use the one with the highest numbers. Again, please do this now. This is important to write them down. Go ahead, I’ll wait….

    4. Well done! Now, apply the (below) SMART checker to become crystal clear on your goal(s). Take a moment to do this. How much do you want to achieve this goal? Hopefully enough to take a few minutes out of your busy day to really work on those goal. A goal without a plan is just a wish!

    smart-goals

    Make sure you goals are specific rather than general. For example: ‘I will exercise for minimum 30 minutes twice a week.’ is better than ‘I want to exercise more’ (more can’t be measured). M stands for measurable, so you need a specific number such as number of books you want to read, the exact weight you want to achieve or the duration of the daily meditation you’d like to do. The next letter stands for attainable or achievable, so your goal has to be something that you believe is realistic and possible to achieve within a certain time-frame. R refers to relevant which means that it has to be your own goal, relevant to you and your dream, rather than something somebody else wants you to do. Only if you really want to achieve that goal you can get the necessary motivation to take action. Finally, T stands for time bound. You need a deadline or final date by which this goal can be realistically achieved. That’s the only way to kick into action as without that you might be prone to procrastination or even forgetting that. The deadline is your commitment to achieve that goal by that time.

    5. Winston Churchill said: ‘Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.’ So, with an end date in mind you can then start creating an action plan, a step-by-step approach to achieving this goal. Start by breaking it down into smaller steps, then attach a deadline to each of them. Ideally write a schedule or create a timeline and put it up somewhere visible as a reminder. Take small daily steps toward achieving your goal(s).

    Best of luck. Feel free to comment on this post or share it.

    Happy 2017!

    Love and light,

    Sandy

    happynewyear

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to embrace your emotions, the good, the bad and the ugly

    Feelings, especially on the negative spectrum, can be overwhelming, distracting, even numbing. Often we just don’t have time to deal with them, so we turn to food, drinks, TV, work, etc. Moreover, society has taught us to swallow and smile and pretend everything is ok, but repressing our emotions can lead to further problems. Emotions have energy behind them and they can build up and cause problems later. For example, we might get to the point when we just can’t take it anymore and explode, which affects the people around us and often leads to tensions and regret. Sometimes even physical problems can manifest as a result of unexpressed emotions. Repressing anything (or anyone) does never work in the long run as it builds up pressure and tension. Instead, we could reconnect to our body, see how it feels and let out what doesn’t serve us. After all, we are all human beings with feelings so let’s embrace our emotions and our deepest humanity.

    Embrace all feelings

    The questions arises, how to do that safely, without snapping at people around us or crying uncontrollably in public. I’m NOT suggesting that. Yet, we can start by acknowledging how we feel and stop the distraction. Personally, I’m a big fan of breathing techniques, which help to let go of the energy behind the emotion. For instance, focus on a particular feeling (or a person that triggers a negative feeling) and breathe it out (long and slowly), then imagine breathing in (long and slowly) something positive, such as the energy of peace, forgiveness, calmness, etc. Then with the outbreath, let go of the old negative emotion, followed by breathing in the positive. Visualise it, connect to it and focus on it for several minutes. Notice how much better you feel after 5 minutes, not to mention that the additional oxygen helps you think more clearly.
    A second very effective technique for deeper emotional challenges is EFT tapping.

    Tap on the meridian points which are part of our energy system (as in Traditional Chinese Medicine – Acupuncture points) while focusing on the particular distress. If you’re new to EFT, perhaps work with a practitioner or join a group. If you’re based in Brighton, Southeast England, you can join the weekly emotional balance group (Time Out Tuesday) starting soon.

    The key is to become present and connect to your body, acknowledge how you feel and find a safe way to let go of those emotions. Doing this regularly will increase your wellbeing. You’ll become lighter, happier and more balanced. Free yourself and find your inner balance.
    Love and light,
    Sandy

    freedom1

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • Overcoming Procrastination

    Be willing to take risks is surely necessary on the way to creating your best possible life. Yet there might be a little old friend that keeps sabotaging the best attempts. At least that’s the case for me. Every person might have their own little inner saboteur, for me it’s procrastination. We are old friends and we go way back. Today, however when reflecting on ‘our friendship’ I’ve decided that it’s not going to work anymore. I need to move on rather than being slowed down. I choose to bond more with some of my new friends, such as ‘motivation’, ‘excitement’ and ‘action’. It’s my life, right? So I can choose my ‘friends’ and it definitely feels better to surround myself with positive friends who are helpful and encouraging and who don’t aim to hold me back. It’s not easy to let go of old habits. When using EFT (tapping) to help me let go, I realised why I was holding on to it. It was a safe place, a habit which provided me with comfort. I didn’t know any better, so rather than fighting it, I can now accept it for what it was and let go (*tap tap tap*) Dear old friend procrastination, I know you’ve just been a ‘safety mechanism’ trying to protect me from harm, from rushing into things and from becoming overwhelmed. I thank you for your service and I release you now.

    breath

    I’m now ready to hang out more with my new friends. We love doing ‘Positive EFT’ together (meaning that you tap on positive things such as ‘motivation’, ‘excitement’ etc. and really feel into that). Feels great! Gosh, I’m so motivated right now, I could write a book. But hey, in case you’re procrastinating while reading my blog (thanks for stopping by) I dare you to tap on your little inner saboteur (click here for tapping points and more info on EFT) and create the life you’ve always wanted. You deserve it.

    believe in yourself

    P.S. I wrote the above in February 2014 and just wanted to share that the tapping really helped. I have come a really long way in the last two years, and have in fact managed to write (co-author) a book since, been living and traveling abroad for the last 7 months, completed a 1 year diploma course and qualified as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist, became an advanced EFT practitioner, have run EFT workshops, have worked with a Chiropractor to treat people with chronic pain and have helped people from the UK, Germany, Hungary, Australia, Switzerland, the United States and a few more with a great variety of issues. I’m grateful for my life and still keep tapping. It really works, so I’d like to encourage you to try it too. For more information see my EFT site. It’s easy to learn yet if you feel you need any support, I’d be happy to work with you. I offer sessions via Skype and will offer workshops and face-to-face treatments again from Juni in Brighton, East Sussex, UK. You can contact me via email: Sandyinbrighton@gmail.com or fill in the booking form on my EFT site. Anyway, wishing you a wonderful and productive day.
    Love and light from Thailand, where I’m currently living.?