Tag: relaxation

Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • Exciting news!

    Hi, I’ve got an announcement: I’ve got a brand-new website and NEW DIGITAL PRODUCTS! During the last few months, I’ve been very busy creating my new website www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/ and new downloadable online materials. For years I’ve been dedicated to help people find healing and emotional balance and now you can create your own toolbox with the methods you like best and use them anytime and as often as you like.Yay! Perhaps exactly what is needed in terms of self-care in these uncertain times.
    I have brand-new individual downloads which include relaxation audios and EFT tapping videos, check out all my new products here www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/shop/
    I’ll make more over the next few months, so the catalogue will be growing.

    In addition, I’ve created two packages which include a bundle of videos, audios and worksheets. They are called ‘Boost your motivation’ and ‘Improve your sleep’ both of which are run as a private Facebook social learning group, where the materials can be accessed and downloaded. More materials will come soon! If you know anyone who could benefit from more motivation or better sleep or any of the individual downloads, please let them know about these unique new empowering self-help products of alternative tools and energy psychology.

    My biggest and best project so far, is my EMOTIONAL BALANCE ONLINE COURSE aimed at helping clients to make profound changes. This online course gives you all the information, tools and exercises to learn how to find and keep your balance and develop powerful strategies and daily routines to become a better and calmer version of yourself. It is the equivalent of at least 6 sessions with me and contains a comprehensive set of materials to empower you to help yourself with alternative tools and energy psychology. Everything has been pre-recorded so you can work through it in your own time. Find out more here: www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/product/emotional-balance-online-course/

    You can have a look at all my new products here: www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/shop/ Perhaps now is a good time to look after yourself a bit more and get back into balance. We all deserve happiness.

    Wishing you a lovely rest of the day and week. I do hope you’re well or on your way to a speedy recovery. If there’s anything I can do to help you on that journey, please let me know. Love and Light.
    Sandy

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • The power of self-care and self -love

    Nurturing yourself is important, especially in times of uncertainty. When the outside world seems crazy, turn inside. You’re a wonderful human being, who’s doing the best they can, given the current circumstances. Acknowledge how well you’ve done, how difficult it perhaps has been. Give yourself a hug and a pad on the shoulder. Life’s never been more different and unusual. We’ve been bombarded with lots of change, new rules and have been fed fear-producing messages. So, if you’ve been feeling a bit anxious, worried or just unusually tired, that’s absolutely normal. Many of us are a bit out of balance these days, trying to cope with the new situation and perhaps feeling a bit insecure about it all, or even overwhelmed. Yet one thing we often take for granted is ourselves. We expect ourselves to just adjust overnight, cope with anything thrown at us and deal with people around us, who are struggling, while we might be internally struggling too. I believe it’s important to acknowledge how we feel and become aware of our own needs too. Self-care and self-love are important and should not be forgotten. These last few months have been strange, and you’ve made it through! So, give yourself a big fat WELL DONE!

    Wouldn’t it be nice to make yourself feel cared for and appreciated? Why not take a moment to thank your wonderful body, your brain with its amazing capacity to learn new things and your mind and psyche with its ability to generate a wide spectrum of emotions! Be nice to yourself and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Remind yourself of all the many good qualities you have. Make a list of things you’re grateful for. Switch to positive feelings and give yourself some love and appreciation. You deserve it!

    A great tool that I highly recommend is doing daily affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements. Louise Hay, the queen of affirmations, wrote lots of books about the topic. Starting with that first thing in the morning is a great way of setting you up for a positive day. Think of a few things you like about yourself and tell your reflection in the mirror. Or see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. If you need ideas and inspiration, check out this website with new daily affirmations: www.louisehay.com/affirmations/   Today, 30th July says the following: “Today I listen to my feelings, and I am gentle with myself. I know that all of my feelings are my friends.” Wonderful words of wisdom!
    Some people prefer their statements expressed as a process, e.g. ‘I’m feeling better and better each day.’ ‘I love myself a bit more every day.’ or ‘I love learning how to relax’. When you become your own best friend, nothing can stop you. It’s worth making a bit of an effort to love yourself more. If you love yourself, the world loves you right back.

    Self-care goes hand-in-hand with self-love. It’s about setting boundaries, looking after yourself and taking a bit of ‘me-time’ out whenever possible or appropriate. A dear friend of mine introduced me to the idea of having a duvet morning. I love the concept! Every now and then, I just stay in bed an extra hour in the morning with nice cup of tea and a book, or a notepad if I feel creative, to brainstorm ideas or make my gratitude list for the day. If mornings aren’t possible, how about a duvet evening? There’s plenty of ways to look after ourselves, some people love having a warm bubble bath, chat to a friend, go for a nice long walk, meditate, try out a new recipe, write into a journal, light a candle or engage in crafts. The important bit is to make time to feel good. Even a 2- or 3-minute breathing exercise can help you feel calm and more balanced. Acknowledge that you’ve done enough and you are enough! Feeling loved and appreciated is an inside job. I hope this short article has inspired you. Love and light. Sandy

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • Gratitude

    There’s no question that these are strange times and life as we knew it has changed. Change can be scary, especially when it affects our sense of safety and control and leaves us with uncertainty about the future. This can really get us out of balance and that’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s especially important now to look after ourselves, acknowledge our feelings and thoughts but make sure we don’t get carried away with them. EFT tapping is a great tool to deal with any uncomfortable feelings. If you’re unfamiliar with EFT, just try one of my breathing exercises. Take a few really deep breaths and count to 5 or 6 while you breathe in and again to 5 or 6 while you breathe out. That’s a great little shortcut to help your nervous system to calm down.

    Once calmer, I recommend to count your blessings. Seriously, make a list and write down at least 7-10 things that you’re grateful for. That read that list every day and add to it. We can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time, so choose your focus. Look at gratitude. There’s always something to be grateful for, even if it’s just the weather, the fact that you have shelter and food in the fridge or great past memories.

    Gratitude is powerful and when applied on a regular basis, you’ll soon find more things to be grateful for and gradually train your mind to focus on the positive things in your life. It’ll make a great difference in how you feel. Have fun with it. Take care. Thanks for you reading.

    Sandy x

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to switch your focus from anxiety to calmness

    These are difficult times and not being able to see friends and family, the current uncertainty about the future mixed with fearful messages from the media can really have an impact on somebody’s mental health. Now it’s especially important to look after ourselves and for some it might be easier as long commutes are not on the agenda at the moment and working from home or not working at all free up time and hopefully provides comfort. So we’re trying to find the balance between what’s worse right now, getting used to what’s different and be happy about what’s better.

    Our mind is such a powerful tool yet it’s important to feed it the right messages and take control. There was once a story about two wolves, an old legend of unknown origin. It’s the tale of the fight between two wolves we all have insight of us representing our inner conflicts. One wolf is evil full of anger, jealousy, self-pity, regrets, arrogance and laziness while the other, the good one, is filled with joy, empathy, peace, courage, faith and generosity. The question is asked which of these fighting wolves would win the battle and after reflection the answer is revealed: The one you feed.

    Free photo 88039025 © creativecommonsstockphotos – Dreamstime.com

    So which one are you feeding? Are you spending time complaining how bad it is or are you actively seeking to find the opportunities in the current situation? Are you taking time to look after yourself and embrace new hobbies, habits and connecting to others perhaps via technology? Or are you hiding in your ‘cave’ waiting for the storm to blow over? The important bit is that we all have a choice which wolf we feed and the one we feed will be growing and becoming stronger.

    I know this is a very simplistic point of view and things aren’t usually just black or white but I like the message behind it as we can only focus on one emotion at a time, we can’t be happy and sad at the same time and even if we’re sad we can switch our focus to something else, someone we love, for example and the feelings will change and follow our thoughts.

    Sometimes, however, we can get stuck in a negative emotion, such as anxiety and find it hard to switch and get out. If changing your thoughts doesn’t change, then give your body a break and use both your body and your mind to find a bit of peace. When body and mind work together, anything is possible. So here’s a quick and easy 5-10 minute relaxation exercise to get from anxiety to calmness:

    Sit somewhere quiet and comfortably. Focus on your breath, observe it for a minute, then start counting. Count to five or six while you breathe in and to five or six while you breathe out. Do this for a few minutes. Then start daydreaming. Think of a lovely safe place where you can relax, perhaps a beach or a forest you know. Build it up with your inner eye and notice the colours, sounds and smells. Then imagine going for a stroll there while taking in the calmness of that place. Do this for a couple of minutes or so before coming back. Notice the difference in how you feel. Repeat regularly.

    Try it out, really, how about now? Don’t postpone or delay. If appropriate, do it now for a few minutes! If it works teach it to someone else. If everyone did take a 5-minute break like this every day, we’d all be much calmer and happier.

    Stay safe. Big hug. Love and light.

    Sandy x

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • Am I really depressed, or could I just be an introvert?

    In a world where the majority of people (apparently two thirds) are extroverts, there are certain unspoken expectations of how to fit in and how to ‘be normal’. For example, we should see friends and family regularly, always go out when asked, engage in active hobbies and continuous professional development, support good causes, be successful, do exciting things and ideally let the world know about it by posting pictures and status updates on social media.

    For extroverts this might not be a problem as many of them like being around others and don’t usually mind the general busyness and noise of modern life whereas introverts, on the other hand do! Working all day, commuting and the feeling that we then should also fill our leisure time with exciting things, tasks and people can be overwhelming, although I guess to a certain extent that is true for everyone. Perhaps extroverts just generally cope better with being busy, having full schedules and long to-do-lists and somehow still seem to find the energy to have a great social life too.

    Introverts may just need more time alone, they may not want to be out and about all the time,  communicate with everyone constantly about what’s going on in their life or simply do lots of different things. They like to retreat, have time to think and process events of the day, need peace and quiet to balance out all the noises, pressures and expectations they encountered. And that is totally okay! We’re all different and both introverts AND extroverts are needed and valuable.

    Introverts might get fed the feeling that something is wrong with them, if they need a break from it all every now and then. Questions might pop up around them like “Where have you been?” “Why aren’t you coming out with us?” “You’re so quiet, is everything ok?” “Did you get my text?.” etc. The unspoken label ‘depression’ may occasionally float around but are people who need some alone time and don’t feel up for talks, events and gatherings really depressed?

    Please don’t get me wrong, I’m neither downplaying depression nor am I suggesting that introvert people come across as depressed. It’s just that in my experience as a holistic health practitioner I’ve come across a number of clients who diagnosed themselves and thought they had some sort of mild depression, many of whom turned out to ‘just’ be introverts with no mental health problem whatsoever. So, I thought I’d write about it as I guess it can be quite a relief for anyone doubting themselves.

    You don’t have to bend over backwards to fit in. It’s okay to be who you are, it’s okay to miss out on an evening with friends, it’s okay to stay in and take time out for yourself. In fact, if you feel you need it, it’s necessary! It’s important to respect our own needs and if alone time is what we need, then let’s take it. It helps to recharge our batteries and only if we look after ourselves, can we also look after others, plus if you have kids, you set a great example in showing them the importance of self-care.

    Now, I’m not advocating to become a hermit. If someone is losing interest and enjoyment, feels in a depressed mood for an extended period of time, experiences increased fatigue or loss of energy, has disturbed appetite and/or sleep problems and engages in pessimistic views of the future, there might be an element of depression and getting support would be advisable. The IDC-10 (meaning: international classification of diseases 10th edition) is often used as a model for diagnosis and can be helpful. I’ve worked with a lot of clients to help them get out of their ‘down period’ and there’s lots of wonderful tools to help with that, such as Solution-focused psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and EFT.

    Yet simply being introspective, reflective and observing, enjoying a bit of alone time, having quiet hobbies, not joining every social event or being a bit under the weather every now and then does not mean depression! These are qualities of introverts and it’s important to respect them in order NOT to get depressed in the future because by not getting our emotional needs met, we are more prone to mental health problems. So, take a break to daydream if you need to. Take time out for yourself and please respect others who do the same. What about you? Has this blog post been helpful? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I look forward to reading your comments. Thanks.

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to find happiness

    How are you feeling right now? Just stop for a minute and notice how you feel! Connect to your body and your mind….Do it right now….

    Awareness is the first step towards change. Too often we’re on autopilot and don’t even notice what’s going on inside of us. By tuning into our body and feelings, we gain awareness. Notice how you feel, name the feeling, name the thought and the emotion behind it. Become aware, watch, observe, become present. Change your focus from outwards to inwards. When we ignore that inner whisper too long, it becomes a scream but by listening and noticing we can turn the volume back down again.

    focus your attention
    Did you know that you always have a choice? You can choose to pick a thought that makes you feel good. Try it right now. Dwell on a happy memory for a moment or imagine a happy fulfilling future. Keep it positive, inspiring and allow yourself to smile. Focus your attention on calmness, peace and happiness. Feel it from the inside out. Once you’ve done that for a moment, tune into your feelings again. Feeling better? Great! If something/someone upsets you, distract yourself with some positive thoughts, go for a walk and appreciate what you see. You can’t be calm and angry at the same time. The choice is yours. If that doesn’t work, maybe try some EFT tapping to release any negative feelings or whatever works for you. If someone said to you, would you rather be happy or unhappy, what would you say? Well, you’ve got a choice! You can focus your attention and you can choose a thought or a feeling. I, for sure, choose to be happy. Come and join me  ….*singing* ’If you’re happy and you know it….’

    Happy summer holidays. I’m still around if you’re intested in a session. Wishing you a wonderful day filled with positive attention, love and happiness.

    Sandy

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to conquer fear

    Experiencing a bit of fear every now and then is a healthy response aimed to keep us safe. Learning something new can make us uncomfortable at first as it takes us out of our comfort zone. Doing new things makes life more interesting though and leads to growth. Courage is the best antidote to fear. Rather than focusing on what might go wrong, take a reality check. 90% of the things we worry about never happen, so why not focus on all the things that might go right? Think how great you will feel once you’ve conquered your fear? How will life be different? Who would be the first person to notice those changes? Focusing on a positive outcome increases the likelihood of positive things happening. Be your own best friend and give yourself a mental pep talk or imagine what a supportive person in your life would say to encourage you to conquer your fear.

    fear-vs-courage

    Did you know that you can choose your thoughts? So choose the ones that help you, not ones that drag you down. Easier said than done? Well, here’s a short cut: stop thinking for a moment and focus on positive FEELINGS! Who do you love most in life? What does this love feel like? Stay with that feeling for a couple of minutes and watch the changes in your body. Another great way to conquer fear is to focus on your breathing! Breathe in slowly while counting to 6, then let go of the air slowly while counting to 6. Repeat several times and ‘watch’ the breath moving in and out of your body. Notice your chest and belly expand, perhaps put your hands on your body to feel this movement. These two simple techniques help to become present and to focus on the here and now. They work wonders before important meetings, job interviews, presentations or to calm down fearful worries.

    fear into action

    Some people may need healing on a deeper level, for example to overcome trauma, phobias or panic attacks. EFT tapping and Hypnotherapy are powerful tools to conquer these issues. These and other modalities are offered by a variety of practitioners (myself included). I’ve seen the most amazing changes in my clients. Don’t let your fear imprison you, set yourself free and start enjoying life. Turn your fear into action. Like Winston Churchill said: ‘Courage is a decision’. Take your power back now!

    courage is a decision

    I’d love to hear if you’ve found this post helpful and look forward to reading your comments.

    All the best,

    Sandy

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to reduce anxiety in less than 5 minutes

    Stress and anxiety are buzz words nowadays. Everyone is just rushing around, being busy with being busy and having a million things on the to-do list. Many have not enough time to relax and look after themselves, especially women who always seem to care and look after everyone else and don’t get enough time for themselves. Yet just like a car can’t run at 100 miles an hour all the time without stopping to refuel, so do we need to stop regularly and look after (refuel) ourselves. People who don’t take time to look after their health will HAVE TO take time later to look after their illness. Which way are you heading?

    relax-stress

    The good news is that refueling doesn’t have to take ages. A day at the Spa sounds very appealing but many have neither the time nor the money for such a treat. Here is a very simple tool that you can surely fit even into the busiest schedule and you can do it anytime, anywhere. It is a breathing technique called 7/11 breathing. This is how it works: take a deep slow breath in while counting to 7, fill your belly and lungs with air, then breathe out even more slowly while counting to 11, notice how your belly and chest slowly release the air. Repeat several times: breathe in to 7 and out to the count of 11. If 7 and 11 feel too long, adjust the numbers to your own pace and capacity. The important part is to breathe more slowly and to breathe out for at least 2 counts longer than you breathe in. Doing this for a few minutes switches your body from the sympathetic nervous system (stress mode) to the parasympathetic nervous system (relax mode). Seriously try it right now for at least 2-3 minutes and watch your anxiety melt away…

    breath

    This techniques puts you back in touch with your body. The counting engages your mind and the combination of counting and watching your breath helps you become present and be in the moment. Too often we spend too much time thinking about the past or planning our future. Right in this moment, we are ok, right now we don’t have to find a solution to all of our problems. Just for this short moment we can start anew as in every breath there is a new opportunity. Once we calm down and release the stress we get access to our intuition, can think more clearly and often become aware of the most amazing ideas and solutions that have been in us all along. All it takes is a bit of breathing, allowing your body and mind to relax. Do this regularly and see what happens. I recommend doing this exercise several times a day, even if it’s just for a minute or two each time. It reduces stress and anxiety, quietens the mind, helps you sleep better, provides your brain with more oxygen, cuts off the constant noise in our head, especially that critical voice that many of us have and puts us back in touch with our own resources. Enjoy!

    breath-tiger

    If you found this helpful, please share and/or leave a comment. If you’re interested in finding out more about this topic, join my next workshop on 25th March in Brighton:

    Release stress and anxiety2

     

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • Need more me time!

    I don’t know about you but to me it feels that life is getting busier and busier.

    Technology is supposed to make things easier and faster, right? Yet I personally feel it provides more pressure (at times), e.g. being constantly available, texting, following and responding to friends’ posts and blogs on social media, being present online so that our friends can follow us, not to mention the pressure to do well at work, for our kids to do well at school and so on. I feel that some of my friendships only exist online. We hardly have time for face-to-face conversations anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media (I’ve got this blog after all) I just don’t like it when it takes over and prevents us from switching off. The temptation is there, in every free minute, to check emails, new posts, pictures and videos online. Does this sound familiar? Well, I want to do something about this. I need more me time and have a feeling others do too. I need more emotional balance and a proper time-out from the fast moving busyness of this world.

    time-out-tuesday22thnov

    So I’ve started this new evening group. Time out Tuesday – Find your emotional balance and I’d like to invite you to join us, not online, but in person (if you are in South East England that is, Brighton&Hove area to be specific). My aim is to create a safe space for people to relax. We’ll do some exercises, like breathing, gratitude and guided visualisations to let go of stress and worries and find more balance. Feel free to share this information with anyone who you think might be interested. Thanks. See you on Tuesday!