How about a new approach to New Year’s resolutions? Let’s be honest, most of us don’t follow through anyway, right? After a few weeks the discipline wavers and we’re back to where we started. If you’re an exception, great! Congrats then keep going and see this suggestion as an add-on. If you’re not good at sticking to your NY’s resolutions, then let’s just not do them this year.
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So here’s a different idea (which I started a few years ago): Why not start with an empty jar and collect happy moment memories, success stories or pictures of events and positive changes happening in 2021?
Recipe: Take one empty bottle or jar, have a few pieces of paper or post-it notes and a pen ready. Set an reminder on your phone or in your calendar to record at least two or three things every week or reflect each Sunday on what to record. No worries if it’s less than that, the idea is to keep counting and recording your blessings.
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Photo by Kelly Sikkema from Unsplash
We could even record things like the end of lockdown, the joy of being allowed to see friends again, the pleasures of shopping or keep a record of how you’ve improved your home, your skills or hobbies, write down your favourite jokes or heart-warming moments when you felt moved or perhaps record an pleasant walk in nature with a picture, a beautiful sunset, a home-cooked meal that you enjoyed, a time when you laughed until your tummy hurt, a special gift you received, a zoom-party or joyful phone call with a friend. The list is endless.
Then at New Year’s Eve 2021, take out the bottle or jar and read all the notes on the happy moments of the year. If you do this with your family, have everyone pick their top three! Feel free to amend this recipe to suit your needs.
The point is to recognise and record happy moments throughout the year and then reflect on them at the end of the year. Do this and watch how your life will change over time. We all got so much more to be grateful for than we perhaps realise. Accept the challenge!
The lovely autumn season has arrived, and we can witness how wonderful change can be and how easy it is to let go. I love going for walks in autumn, reflect on things, ponder on what changes to embrace in my own life and if there’s anything I need to let go.
The change of seasons is a great time to make changes, it almost feels natural, like working hand in hand with nature. Getting ready to put old unhelpful thought patterns and habits to sleep. I guess this is also what this month’s Stoptober is about, don’t you think?
Well, if you’re ready to make a change or let go of something, here’s a very special one-time only offer for you. Get a whopping £20 discount on your next 1-2-1 session and only pay £50 instead of £70. Valid for any 1-2-1 session with me booked before 31st October. Book now as I have limited availability. I do sessions online (Skype or Zoom) as well as face-to-face in Brighton and Eastbourne.
Finally a word on fear. These are difficult times for a lot of people. Feeling afraid and restricted almost seems to have become the new normal of 2020. Yet know that we can’t be afraid and happy at the same time. If you’re afraid you’re making yourself more vulnerable as fear has a detrimental effect on our immune system. So please take regular breaks from the news and negativity around and make it your mission to do something nice instead, either for yourself or somebody else. Look after your emotional needs, watch something funny, talk to a beloved friend or family member, do a breathing or tapping exercise and count your blessings. There’s always something to be grateful for. Being relaxed and grateful is much better for your health as being afraid. So be cautious, of course, but take time to laugh and play. You have choice! Give every day the chance to be the best of your life!
Happy Halloween, if you celebrate it. Take care. Love, light and angel blessings. Sandy
According to the NHS and the British Pain Society, almost half (43%) of the population in the UK suffer from chronic pain, that’s about 28 million people! This year (2020) is likely to see a rise in numbers, due to changes in circumstances since Covid, like working from home, self-isolating, lack of exercise and reduction in pain service provision.
Having suffered from chronic pain myself for several years in the past, this topic is important and personal and one of the reasons I changed profession to become a holistic health practitioner after having found alleviation and healing from my condition. In this article, I’d like to help you understand why we may suffer from chronic pain, what factors influences the pain level and explain how to manage and alleviate it.
Let’s start by trying to understand why we experience pain. Pain is a symptom which the body uses to communicate with us, telling us something is not right. Pain is feedback, similar to the engine light in your car signalling something is wrong. Acute pain should never be ignored and if treated appropriately in most cases, long term pain can be avoided. Yet what if you are already suffering from chronic pain and doctors can’t help?
My view is that chronic pain happens for a reason, often subconscious psychological reasons that we are not aware of, yet if we can find them, deal with them and make a conscious shift, we may find that the pain changes too, becomes more bearable, manageable and even starts healing. The body usually has a natural ability to heal itself. If you cut your finger, you heal the wound, put a plaster on and it heals. If you break a bone and stabilize the body part, the bone grows back together. People recover from accidents, surgery, falls, injuries, etc. So, in my view, if you’re suffering from chronic pain it means, there’s something holding the condition in place, either physical or psychological.
One factor is that, the body can change and adapt. While most of our physical bodies naturally strive for health, they can only heal themselves if they’re given the opportunity to do so. Stress puts the body in fight or flight mode, where the main concern is survival. It’s a natural biological response which we’ve inherited from our ancestors. Therefore, constant stress can prevent the body from healing as it only feels ‘safe enough’ to heal and recuperate when we’re calm and relaxed. To allow the body to heal, watch your stress level!
In addition, sometimes one problem can cause another, such as when someone has sprained their ancle or hurt their knee, they put more weight on the healthy one which might then also start hurting if this continues for long enough. The body will change and adapt to any circumstances, doing the best it can to lower pressure and find balance. So be mindful of how you’re using your body.
Pain is subjective, some people can tolerate more than others. Ever wondered why that is? A number of factors influence how we experience pain: our beliefs play a role, past (pain) experiences, our current stress level or even how we see ourselves. Did you know that your current stress level will influence the degree of pain you feel? Stress triggers a number of physical reactions, such as increased blood flow which means more blood also flows through the painful body part, increasing the sensation of pain. Therefore, another effective way to manage your pain level is to learn to relax. There’s a wide variety of relaxation methods available, so why not try to find one that suits you? I’m happy to give you my FREE guided relaxtion visualisation. It’s a 10 minute audio relaxation to help you feel more balanced https://www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/freebies/
Yet another effective way to manage your pain is to befriend your body and listen to the communication it is offering. As mentioned above pain is feedback. Many see their body as their enemy “Why is my body doing this to me?” Try a new approach, take time to listen, go inside and search for reasons and emotions behind the pain. Once you understand the message, your body might not need to “shout so loud” anymore. Send positive thoughts and mental messages to your body. It’s doing the best it can given the position it is in. Give yourself of painful body part a hug, apply an appropriate lotion, heat or cold pack, breath into the pain and practice acceptance rather than resistance. Resistance fuels stress, acceptance allows healing. Create the best conditions to allow your body and mind to heal.
There’s plenty more to be said about this topic. If you’re suffering from chronic pain and would like to learn more about how to manage it, you’re invited to join my next live 2-hour workshop on 17th October in Brighton! Numbers are limited, so make sure you book your place asap! To find out more:
To book your place, send an email with your name and telephone number to sandy@emotionalbalance.co.uk
I hope you found this article
informative and helpful. If you know anyone who suffers from chronic pain, feel
free to share it with them. My mission is to help as many people as possible as
I know from personal experience how limiting life with chronic pain can be.
These are difficult times and not being able to see friends and family, the current uncertainty about the future mixed with fearful messages from the media can really have an impact on somebody’s mental health. Now it’s especially important to look after ourselves and for some it might be easier as long commutes are not on the agenda at the moment and working from home or not working at all free up time and hopefully provides comfort. So we’re trying to find the balance between what’s worse right now, getting used to what’s different and be happy about what’s better.
Our mind is such a powerful tool yet it’s important to feed it the right messages and take control. There was once a story about two wolves, an old legend of unknown origin. It’s the tale of the fight between two wolves we all have insight of us representing our inner conflicts. One wolf is evil full of anger, jealousy, self-pity, regrets, arrogance and laziness while the other, the good one, is filled with joy, empathy, peace, courage, faith and generosity. The question is asked which of these fighting wolves would win the battle and after reflection the answer is revealed: The one you feed.
So which
one are you feeding? Are you spending time complaining how bad it is or are you
actively seeking to find the opportunities in the current situation? Are you
taking time to look after yourself and embrace new hobbies, habits and
connecting to others perhaps via technology? Or are you hiding in your ‘cave’
waiting for the storm to blow over? The important bit is that we all have a
choice which wolf we feed and the one we feed will be growing and becoming
stronger.
I know this
is a very simplistic point of view and things aren’t usually just black or white
but I like the message behind it as we can only focus on one emotion at a time,
we can’t be happy and sad at the same time and even if we’re sad we can switch
our focus to something else, someone we love, for example and the feelings will
change and follow our thoughts.
Sometimes, however, we can get stuck in a negative emotion, such as anxiety and find it hard to switch and get out. If changing your thoughts doesn’t change, then give your body a break and use both your body and your mind to find a bit of peace. When body and mind work together, anything is possible. So here’s a quick and easy 5-10 minute relaxation exercise to get from anxiety to calmness:
Sit
somewhere quiet and comfortably. Focus on your breath, observe it for a minute, then
start counting. Count to five or six while you breathe in and to five or six
while you breathe out. Do this for a few minutes. Then start daydreaming. Think
of a lovely safe place where you can relax, perhaps a beach or a forest you
know. Build it up with your inner eye and notice the colours, sounds and
smells. Then imagine going for a stroll there while taking in the calmness of
that place. Do this for a couple of minutes or so before coming back. Notice
the difference in how you feel. Repeat regularly.
Try it out, really, how about now? Don’t postpone or delay. If appropriate, do it now for a few minutes! If it works teach it to someone else. If everyone did take a 5-minute break like this every day, we’d all be much calmer and happier.
Is it really June 2017 already? Wow, how did that happen? When you look back at this year so far, can you see how much has changed? Or is it just me 😉 Change is the only thing that never changes. Change is natural, change is beautiful, some resist it, some embrace, some fear it, some call it challenges but it’s actually just change. And, we influence it: we can choose our reaction to it, we can welcome it rather than cursing it. We can believe that things will all work themselves out eventually. Most challenges turn into blessings. We see them as challenges because we haven’t found the lesson in them yet. Everything in life has two sides, look out for the positive in any change that happens. Start by being grateful. Affirm that everything happens for a reason.
You and your life will continue to change. If you start counting your blessings, you can direct that change, influence it and become it. A grateful person is a happy person. You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
Set yourself reminders to do this, perhaps on your phone or have visual reminders around your workplace or home. Stop every couple of hours, take a few deep breaths and find something to appreciate about yourself, your day, the people around you or whatever comes to mind. This not only helps to reduce stress but also provides you with energy. Positive people are generally happier, healthier and more vibrant. Look for the blessing in every so-called challenge and turn it into an opportunity. By focusing on positive things, your mood will be much better and you might just stumble over a solution, yet you have to be calm and solution-focused for this to happen.
Finally, if you want to consciously change your life for the better, forget about your to-do list every now and then, leave the cleaning, tidying and many other chores for another day and do more of what makes you happy. Your children, friends and family would surely prefer a happier you over a clean house. Be happy, spread hope, enjoy the moment, that’s what people will remember about you. To turn a challenge into a blessing, start by seeing it as one and if you can’t, just let it go for a moment and find your inner strength and happiness by doing more of what makes you happy.
Pain is one of the worst experiences we can have. Did you know that our reaction to it can make it worse or better? Our emotions and expectations play a major role in the level of perceived pain and its duration. 3 years ago I was suffering from a trapped nerve and had a frozen shoulder, I could hardly move and was in a great deal of pain. As I had had this condition several times before I panicked as I knew what to expect. This expectation, panic and fear made it worse as I felt helpless, angry and in despair. Yet as a trained EFT practitioner, I then used EFT tapping to address all my fears and emotions around this condition and experienced a remarkable relief. I wrote about this on my blog 3 years ago, you can read more about it here.
Since then, I’m happy to say that the pain has not returned. While I used to get this at least twice a year before, it hasn’t happened at all in the last 3 years. One of the reasons may be that I’m now taking much better care of myself. I use EFT tapping regularly, I make sure I take time to relax and I listen to my body. When I notice the tensions in my shoulders worsening, I respond and honour my body, for example by taking the evening off, doing some tapping, visualising something positive or going for a massage. All symptoms in the body are just feedback. It’s important to befriend the body and work together to release any physical ailments. I now teach what I’ve learnt to others. I run weekly group sessionsand monthly workshops, such as my Time Out Tuesday group in Brighton or 1-2-1 sessions to help people release chronic pain and find inner peace.
I’ve come a long way in the last 3 years and I love sharing what I’ve learnt and helping others on their journey to find more balance in their lives. I’ve definitely managed to embrace my inner light and shine the darkness away
Feelings, especially on the negative spectrum, can be overwhelming, distracting, even numbing. Often we just don’t have time to deal with them, so we turn to food, drinks, TV, work, etc. Moreover, society has taught us to swallow and smile and pretend everything is ok, but repressing our emotions can lead to further problems. Emotions have energy behind them and they can build up and cause problems later. For example, we might get to the point when we just can’t take it anymore and explode, which affects the people around us and often leads to tensions and regret. Sometimes even physical problems can manifest as a result of unexpressed emotions. Repressing anything (or anyone) does never work in the long run as it builds up pressure and tension. Instead, we could reconnect to our body, see how it feels and let out what doesn’t serve us. After all, we are all human beings with feelings so let’s embrace our emotions and our deepest humanity.
The questions arises, how to do that safely, without snapping at people around us or crying uncontrollably in public. I’m NOT suggesting that. Yet, we can start by acknowledging how we feel and stop the distraction. Personally, I’m a big fan of breathing techniques, which help to let go of the energy behind the emotion. For instance, focus on a particular feeling (or a person that triggers a negative feeling) and breathe it out (long and slowly), then imagine breathing in (long and slowly) something positive, such as the energy of peace, forgiveness, calmness, etc. Then with the outbreath, let go of the old negative emotion, followed by breathing in the positive. Visualise it, connect to it and focus on it for several minutes. Notice how much better you feel after 5 minutes, not to mention that the additional oxygen helps you think more clearly.
A second very effective technique for deeper emotional challenges is EFT tapping.
Tap on the meridian points which are part of our energy system (as in Traditional Chinese Medicine – Acupuncture points) while focusing on the particular distress. If you’re new to EFT, perhaps work with a practitioner or join a group. If you’re based in Brighton, Southeast England, you can join the weekly emotional balance group (Time Out Tuesday) starting soon.
The key is to become present and connect to your body, acknowledge how you feel and find a safe way to let go of those emotions. Doing this regularly will increase your wellbeing. You’ll become lighter, happier and more balanced. Free yourself and find your inner balance.
Love and light,
Sandy
Nurturing yourself is important, especially in times of stress. A great tool that I highly recommend is doing daily affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements. Louise Hay, the queen of affirmations, has written lots of books about the topic. She recommends looking into your own eyes in front of a mirror while making positive statements about yourself. Starting with that first thing in the morning is a great way of setting you up for a positive day. Think of a few things you like about yourself and tell your reflection in the mirror. Or try and see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. Be nice to yourself and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Remind yourself of all the many good qualities you have. It doesn’t take long to do the mirror work. Having a positive self-image is crucial if you want to shine and make a difference. If you notice any resistance coming up, declare your statements as a process, e.g. ‘I’m feeling better and better each day.’ ‘I love myself a bit more every day.’ or ‘I love learning how to relax’.
Another way of addressing any resistance that comes up is EFT tapping. If affirmation bring some of your subconscious core beliefs onto the surface, face and acknowledge them while tapping. This is really powerful. I hope you’ll take a few minutes each morning and evening focusing on your positive qualities and looking after yourself. You’re ok just as you are and when you become your own best friend, nothing can stop you. Take care of yourself and see how the world will do the same.
Be willing to take risks is surely necessary on the way to creating your best possible life. Yet there might be a little old friend that keeps sabotaging the best attempts. At least that’s the case for me. Every person might have their own little inner saboteur, for me it’s procrastination. We are old friends and we go way back. Today, however when reflecting on ‘our friendship’ I’ve decided that it’s not going to work anymore. I need to move on rather than being slowed down. I choose to bond more with some of my new friends, such as ‘motivation’, ‘excitement’ and ‘action’. It’s my life, right? So I can choose my ‘friends’ and it definitely feels better to surround myself with positive friends who are helpful and encouraging and who don’t aim to hold me back. It’s not easy to let go of old habits. When using EFT (tapping) to help me let go, I realised why I was holding on to it. It was a safe place, a habit which provided me with comfort. I didn’t know any better, so rather than fighting it, I can now accept it for what it was and let go (*tap tap tap*) Dear old friend procrastination, I know you’ve just been a ‘safety mechanism’ trying to protect me from harm, from rushing into things and from becoming overwhelmed. I thank you for your service and I release you now.
I’m now ready to hang out more with my new friends. We love doing ‘Positive EFT’ together (meaning that you tap on positive things such as ‘motivation’, ‘excitement’ etc. and really feel into that). Feels great! Gosh, I’m so motivated right now, I could write a book. But hey, in case you’re procrastinating while reading my blog (thanks for stopping by) I dare you to tap on your little inner saboteur (click here for tapping points and more info on EFT) and create the life you’ve always wanted. You deserve it.
P.S. I wrote the above in February 2014 and just wanted to share that the tapping really helped. I have come a really long way in the last two years, and have in fact managed to write (co-author) a book since, been living and traveling abroad for the last 7 months, completed a 1 year diploma course and qualified as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist, became an advanced EFT practitioner, have run EFT workshops, have worked with a Chiropractor to treat people with chronic pain and have helped people from the UK, Germany, Hungary, Australia, Switzerland, the United States and a few more with a great variety of issues. I’m grateful for my life and still keep tapping. It really works, so I’d like to encourage you to try it too. For more information see my EFT site. It’s easy to learn yet if you feel you need any support, I’d be happy to work with you. I offer sessions via Skype and will offer workshops and face-to-face treatments again from Juni in Brighton, East Sussex, UK. You can contact me via email: Sandyinbrighton@gmail.com or fill in the booking form on my EFT site. Anyway, wishing you a wonderful and productive day.
Love and light from Thailand, where I’m currently living.?
