Tag: happiness

Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • An alternative to New Year’s resolutions

    How about a new approach to New Year’s resolutions? Let’s be honest, most of us don’t follow through anyway, right? After a few weeks the discipline wavers and we’re back to where we started. If you’re an exception, great! Congrats then keep going and see this suggestion as an add-on. If you’re not good at sticking to your NY’s resolutions, then let’s just not do them this year.

    Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels

    So here’s a different idea (which I started a few years ago):
    Why not start with an empty jar and collect happy moment memories, success stories or pictures of events and positive changes happening in 2021?

    Recipe:
    Take one empty bottle or jar, have a few pieces of paper or post-it notes and a pen ready. Set an reminder on your phone or in your calendar to record at least two or three things every week or reflect each Sunday on what to record. No worries if it’s less than that, the idea is to keep counting and recording your blessings.

    • Photo by fotografierende from Pexels
    • Photo by Kelly Sikkema from Unsplash

    We could even record things like the end of lockdown, the joy of being allowed to see friends again, the pleasures of shopping or keep a record of how you’ve improved your home, your skills or hobbies, write down your favourite jokes or heart-warming moments when you felt moved or perhaps record an pleasant walk in nature with a picture, a beautiful sunset, a home-cooked meal that you enjoyed, a time when you laughed until your tummy hurt, a special gift you received, a zoom-party or joyful phone call with a friend. The list is endless.

    Then at New Year’s Eve 2021, take out the bottle or jar and read all the notes on the happy moments of the year. If you do this with your family, have everyone pick their top three! Feel free to amend this recipe to suit your needs.

    The point is to recognise and record happy moments throughout the year and then reflect on them at the end of the year. Do this and watch how your life will change over time. We all got so much more to be grateful for than we perhaps realise. Accept the challenge!

    Photo by Oleg Zaicev from Pexels

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • Autumn wisdom and special offers

    The lovely autumn season has arrived, and we can witness how wonderful change can be and how easy it is to let go. I love going for walks in autumn, reflect on things, ponder on what changes to embrace in my own life and if there’s anything I need to let go.

    The change of seasons is a great time to make changes, it almost feels natural, like working hand in hand with nature. Getting ready to put old unhelpful thought patterns and habits to sleep. I guess this is also what this month’s Stoptober is about, don’t you think?

    Well, if you’re ready to make a change or let go of something, here’s a very special one-time only offer for you. Get a whopping £20 discount on your next 1-2-1 session and only pay £50 instead of £70. Valid for any 1-2-1 session with me booked before 31st October. Book now as I have limited availability. I do sessions online (Skype or Zoom) as well as face-to-face in Brighton and Eastbourne.

    Finally a word on fear. These are difficult times for a lot of people. Feeling afraid and restricted almost seems to have become the new normal of 2020. Yet know that we can’t be afraid and happy at the same time. If you’re afraid you’re making yourself more vulnerable as fear has a detrimental effect on our immune system. So please take regular breaks from the news and negativity around and make it your mission to do something nice instead, either for yourself or somebody else. Look after your emotional needs, watch something funny, talk to a beloved friend or family member, do a breathing or tapping exercise and count your blessings. There’s always something to be grateful for. Being relaxed and grateful is much better for your health as being afraid. So be cautious, of course, but take time to laugh and play. You have choice! Give every day the chance to be the best of your life!

    Happy Halloween, if you celebrate it. Take care. Love, light and angel blessings.
    Sandy

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • The power of self-care and self -love

    Nurturing yourself is important, especially in times of uncertainty. When the outside world seems crazy, turn inside. You’re a wonderful human being, who’s doing the best they can, given the current circumstances. Acknowledge how well you’ve done, how difficult it perhaps has been. Give yourself a hug and a pad on the shoulder. Life’s never been more different and unusual. We’ve been bombarded with lots of change, new rules and have been fed fear-producing messages. So, if you’ve been feeling a bit anxious, worried or just unusually tired, that’s absolutely normal. Many of us are a bit out of balance these days, trying to cope with the new situation and perhaps feeling a bit insecure about it all, or even overwhelmed. Yet one thing we often take for granted is ourselves. We expect ourselves to just adjust overnight, cope with anything thrown at us and deal with people around us, who are struggling, while we might be internally struggling too. I believe it’s important to acknowledge how we feel and become aware of our own needs too. Self-care and self-love are important and should not be forgotten. These last few months have been strange, and you’ve made it through! So, give yourself a big fat WELL DONE!

    Wouldn’t it be nice to make yourself feel cared for and appreciated? Why not take a moment to thank your wonderful body, your brain with its amazing capacity to learn new things and your mind and psyche with its ability to generate a wide spectrum of emotions! Be nice to yourself and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Remind yourself of all the many good qualities you have. Make a list of things you’re grateful for. Switch to positive feelings and give yourself some love and appreciation. You deserve it!

    A great tool that I highly recommend is doing daily affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements. Louise Hay, the queen of affirmations, wrote lots of books about the topic. Starting with that first thing in the morning is a great way of setting you up for a positive day. Think of a few things you like about yourself and tell your reflection in the mirror. Or see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. If you need ideas and inspiration, check out this website with new daily affirmations: www.louisehay.com/affirmations/   Today, 30th July says the following: “Today I listen to my feelings, and I am gentle with myself. I know that all of my feelings are my friends.” Wonderful words of wisdom!
    Some people prefer their statements expressed as a process, e.g. ‘I’m feeling better and better each day.’ ‘I love myself a bit more every day.’ or ‘I love learning how to relax’. When you become your own best friend, nothing can stop you. It’s worth making a bit of an effort to love yourself more. If you love yourself, the world loves you right back.

    Self-care goes hand-in-hand with self-love. It’s about setting boundaries, looking after yourself and taking a bit of ‘me-time’ out whenever possible or appropriate. A dear friend of mine introduced me to the idea of having a duvet morning. I love the concept! Every now and then, I just stay in bed an extra hour in the morning with nice cup of tea and a book, or a notepad if I feel creative, to brainstorm ideas or make my gratitude list for the day. If mornings aren’t possible, how about a duvet evening? There’s plenty of ways to look after ourselves, some people love having a warm bubble bath, chat to a friend, go for a nice long walk, meditate, try out a new recipe, write into a journal, light a candle or engage in crafts. The important bit is to make time to feel good. Even a 2- or 3-minute breathing exercise can help you feel calm and more balanced. Acknowledge that you’ve done enough and you are enough! Feeling loved and appreciated is an inside job. I hope this short article has inspired you. Love and light. Sandy

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    • How to overcome fear

    Experiencing a bit of fear every now and then is a healthy response aimed to keep us safe. In Corona times right now, fear can be a natural response as it just doesn’t feel safe for some of us to go outside and meet others. But staying inside the whole time and hiding away from the world is not a solution. After all, we are social beings and need a certain amount of connection to others. We also benefit from fresh air, regular walks and sunshine. So what to do? Courage is the best antidote to fear while of course sticking to the guidelines, keeping your distance and perhaps wearing a mask. Rather than focusing on what might go wrong, take a reality check. 90% of the things we worry about never happen, so why not focus on all the things that might go right? Focus on the benefits of conquering your fear, whatever it might be. Get out of your comfort zone and find a glimpse of happiness in uncertainty.

    Think how great you will fear once you’ve conquered your fear! How will life be different? Focusing on a positive outcome increases the likelihood of positive things happening. Be your own best friend and give yourself a mental pep talk or imagine what a supportive person in your life would say to encourage you to conquer your fear.

    If you need to calm your nerves first, here’s a quick and easy tool: Breathe in slowly while counting to 6, then let go of the air slowly while counting to 6. Repeat several times and watch the breath moving in and out of your body. Notice your chest and belly expand, perhaps put your hands on your body to feel this movement.

    Some people may need healing on a deeper level, for example to overcome trauma, phobias or panic attacks. Holistic approaches like energy psychology are powerful tools to conquer these issues. I’ve seen the most amazing changes in my clients. Don’t let your fear imprison you, set yourself free and start enjoying life. Turn your fear into action. Like Winston Churchill said: ‘Fear is a reaction, courage is a decision’.

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to switch your focus from anxiety to calmness

    These are difficult times and not being able to see friends and family, the current uncertainty about the future mixed with fearful messages from the media can really have an impact on somebody’s mental health. Now it’s especially important to look after ourselves and for some it might be easier as long commutes are not on the agenda at the moment and working from home or not working at all free up time and hopefully provides comfort. So we’re trying to find the balance between what’s worse right now, getting used to what’s different and be happy about what’s better.

    Our mind is such a powerful tool yet it’s important to feed it the right messages and take control. There was once a story about two wolves, an old legend of unknown origin. It’s the tale of the fight between two wolves we all have insight of us representing our inner conflicts. One wolf is evil full of anger, jealousy, self-pity, regrets, arrogance and laziness while the other, the good one, is filled with joy, empathy, peace, courage, faith and generosity. The question is asked which of these fighting wolves would win the battle and after reflection the answer is revealed: The one you feed.

    Free photo 88039025 © creativecommonsstockphotos – Dreamstime.com

    So which one are you feeding? Are you spending time complaining how bad it is or are you actively seeking to find the opportunities in the current situation? Are you taking time to look after yourself and embrace new hobbies, habits and connecting to others perhaps via technology? Or are you hiding in your ‘cave’ waiting for the storm to blow over? The important bit is that we all have a choice which wolf we feed and the one we feed will be growing and becoming stronger.

    I know this is a very simplistic point of view and things aren’t usually just black or white but I like the message behind it as we can only focus on one emotion at a time, we can’t be happy and sad at the same time and even if we’re sad we can switch our focus to something else, someone we love, for example and the feelings will change and follow our thoughts.

    Sometimes, however, we can get stuck in a negative emotion, such as anxiety and find it hard to switch and get out. If changing your thoughts doesn’t change, then give your body a break and use both your body and your mind to find a bit of peace. When body and mind work together, anything is possible. So here’s a quick and easy 5-10 minute relaxation exercise to get from anxiety to calmness:

    Sit somewhere quiet and comfortably. Focus on your breath, observe it for a minute, then start counting. Count to five or six while you breathe in and to five or six while you breathe out. Do this for a few minutes. Then start daydreaming. Think of a lovely safe place where you can relax, perhaps a beach or a forest you know. Build it up with your inner eye and notice the colours, sounds and smells. Then imagine going for a stroll there while taking in the calmness of that place. Do this for a couple of minutes or so before coming back. Notice the difference in how you feel. Repeat regularly.

    Try it out, really, how about now? Don’t postpone or delay. If appropriate, do it now for a few minutes! If it works teach it to someone else. If everyone did take a 5-minute break like this every day, we’d all be much calmer and happier.

    Stay safe. Big hug. Love and light.

    Sandy x

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to find happiness

    How are you feeling right now? Just stop for a minute and notice how you feel! Connect to your body and your mind….Do it right now….

    Awareness is the first step towards change. Too often we’re on autopilot and don’t even notice what’s going on inside of us. By tuning into our body and feelings, we gain awareness. Notice how you feel, name the feeling, name the thought and the emotion behind it. Become aware, watch, observe, become present. Change your focus from outwards to inwards. When we ignore that inner whisper too long, it becomes a scream but by listening and noticing we can turn the volume back down again.

    focus your attention
    Did you know that you always have a choice? You can choose to pick a thought that makes you feel good. Try it right now. Dwell on a happy memory for a moment or imagine a happy fulfilling future. Keep it positive, inspiring and allow yourself to smile. Focus your attention on calmness, peace and happiness. Feel it from the inside out. Once you’ve done that for a moment, tune into your feelings again. Feeling better? Great! If something/someone upsets you, distract yourself with some positive thoughts, go for a walk and appreciate what you see. You can’t be calm and angry at the same time. The choice is yours. If that doesn’t work, maybe try some EFT tapping to release any negative feelings or whatever works for you. If someone said to you, would you rather be happy or unhappy, what would you say? Well, you’ve got a choice! You can focus your attention and you can choose a thought or a feeling. I, for sure, choose to be happy. Come and join me  ….*singing* ’If you’re happy and you know it….’

    Happy summer holidays. I’m still around if you’re intested in a session. Wishing you a wonderful day filled with positive attention, love and happiness.

    Sandy

    Posted on by Sandy Sommer
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    • How to turn challenges into blessings

    Is it really June 2017 already? Wow, how did that happen? When you look back at this year so far, can you see how much has changed? Or is it just me 😉 Change is the only thing that never changes. Change is natural, change is beautiful, some resist it, some embrace, some fear it, some call it challenges but it’s actually just change. And, we influence it: we can choose our reaction to it, we can welcome it rather than cursing it. We can believe that things will all work themselves out eventually. Most challenges turn into blessings. We see them as challenges because we haven’t found the lesson in them yet. Everything in life has two sides, look out for the positive in any change that happens. Start by being grateful. Affirm that everything happens for a reason.

    the power of gratitude

    You and your life will continue to change. If you start counting your blessings, you can direct that change, influence it and become it. A grateful person is a happy person. You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.

    look for something positive

    Set yourself reminders to do this, perhaps on your phone or have visual reminders around your workplace or home. Stop every couple of hours, take a few deep breaths and find something to appreciate about yourself, your day, the people around you or whatever comes to mind. This not only helps to reduce stress but also provides you with energy. Positive people are generally happier, healthier and more vibrant. Look for the blessing in every so-called challenge and turn it into an opportunity. By focusing on positive things, your mood will be much better and you might just stumble over a solution, yet you have to be calm and solution-focused for this to happen.

    Finally, if you want to consciously change your life for the better, forget about your to-do list every now and then, leave the cleaning, tidying and many other chores for another day and do more of what makes you happy. Your children, friends and family would surely prefer a happier you over a clean house. Be happy, spread hope, enjoy the moment, that’s what people will remember about you. To turn a challenge into a blessing, start by seeing it as one and if you can’t, just let it go for a moment and find your inner strength and happiness by doing more of what makes you happy.

    what makes you happy

    Happy summer time.

    Love and light,

    Sandy